My Life is Like a Katy Perry Song

June 28, 2011 at 1:01 pm Leave a comment

It hit me as I was driving along, listening to Hits 1 on Sirius:  My life is like a Katy Perry song.

Not Katy Perry

Specifically, “Last Friday Night.”  How can she describe, with such detail, (and such great meter and rhyme to boot) exactly what my Friday night is like?  It’s uncanny, especially lines like:

“We went streaking in the park

Skinny dipping in the dark

Then had a menage a trois”

I might make a few teensy tiny changes to make the song more accurately reflect my Friday nights.  Something like this:

Mom’s Friday Night (with no apologies to Katy Perry)

There’s a baby in my bed
He just kicked me in the head
Diapers all over the room
Pillowcase covered in drool
I smell like yogurt and pears,
And Dada’s passed out downstairs
Baby scratching me all night
Baby hickey, baby bite

Dinner from last night
Ended up on my
New dress
Oh well
It was soup du jour
Sprayed the restaurant floor–the mess!
Dang

Last Friday night
Yeah we tried to have a date
Reservation, running late
Early dinner, 5:08

Last Friday night
Put the baby in his chair
Hoped the waiter wouldn’t care
When he threw a jar of pears

Last Friday night
Got a redbox and a pint
(Ben and Jerry’s, beer it ain’t)
But we have just one complaint:

Last Friday night
Baby wouldn’t go to bed
Bathed and diapered, held and fed
Guess I’ll lay with him instead.
Whoa-oh-oah

This Friday night
Do it all again
This Friday night
Do it all again

 

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