The 5 mistakes new parents make

May 11, 2011 at 9:33 pm Leave a comment

You bring the new bundle of joy home for the first time and the only instruction manual you are given is a photo of what baby poop should look like for the first ten days.  Let me warn you, there will indeed be a lot of poop in your future, but first you must understand. . .

The 5 mistakes new parents make

  1. Not trusting yourself:  Your body was designed to take care of this little monster; and yes, daddies, I’m talking to you too–wait till you get a load of the maternal hormones that will be coursing through your system!  Just shower your little guy or girl with love and the rest is details.
  2. Listening to “experts”: When your your laptop is broken, you can find some advice on how to fix it online or pay to get some help in person.  And while the internet forums might disagree a little bit on what to do with your blinking screen, they will probably all be in the same ballpark.  No one will tell you to put your laptop through the dishwasher.  But with baby advice, you can find two opinions that directly contradict each other and some that contradict the laws of physics.  I like to amuse myself by reading the negative reviews of popular baby how-to books, all which are evidence that there is no baby manual.  (Except the poop one.  See above.)
  3. Believing your friends: Everyone who has a baby turns into a big liar-head.  Your friends will lie to you and you will lie right back to them.  There are two classes of new parent lies:  pretending things are better than they are, and pretending things are worse than they are.   Sometimes it’s not even intentional–My husband truly believed our 3-month-old was sleeping through the night because he, himself, was sleeping through.
  4. Getting a degree from Google Medical School:  When you have a newborn, you will suddenly find yourself up at all hours of the night, feeding or comforting a baby and trying to stay awake so you don’t drop him.  It is very tempting to use this time to research a few little questions you have regarding the new member of the family.  Maybe figure out that rash that’s on her face or look up the treatment for cradle cap.  Or be on the lookout for the signs of scurvy or early male pattern baldness.  Try, try, to resist this temptation.  No matter how much you ask it, google will not be able to answer  the important questions, like “why isn’t my baby sleeping?”
  5. Not trusting the baby:  Your baby has one goal in mind: survival, and she’s pretty darn good at it.  This isn’t like that time that you couldn’t even keep a cactus alive..a baby will tell you if you are overwatering it.  The baby will do everything he can to get his needs met, so all you have to do is listen.
If you’re a new parent, remember:  you won’t be new for long!
Did you make any of these mistakes as a new parent?  Leave your comment below.

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If ya can’t change ’em . . .

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